Puppies and Pwnage

A work in progress. (Stored here for now. Please ignore).

Puppies and Pwnage is a supplementary book to the 3rd edition of the popular ropleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons. It provides a variety of new spells, several new classes, and a new set of abilities according to the titular theme.

Spells

For the Lulz

For the Lulz
Level	Sor/Wiz 9
Type	Universal
Components	None
Casting Time	Instant
Range	None
Targets	None
Duration	Instant
Saving Throw	None
Spell Resistance	No

This spell has absolutely no effect in and of itself other than wasting a spell lot. A wizard or sorcerer with sufficient charisma however may be able to convince others that they have in fact done something, bound only by their imagination.

Summon Kulademan

Summon Kulademan
Level	Sor/Wiz 8
Type	Conjuration[Demonic]
Components	V,S,M
Casting Time	1 Round
Range	None
Targets	None
Duration	1 Round/level
Saving Throw	Special
Spell Resistance	No

The wizard summons the dread demon Kulademan, who will feast on the blood of the wizard's enemies, adding their delicious life essence to his own. If the wizard is near a wall of some kind, Kulademan will burst through the wall, destroying it. Otherwise, he will not be summoned and the spell fails. The wizard must declare this thirst and makes a Will saivng throw upon the appearance of Kulademan to avoid being overwhelmed by his demonic presence and consumed.

Material Components: A pitcher of water and a ruby, which is crushed into the water.

OVER 9000

OVER 9000
Level	Sor/Wiz 9001
Type	Abjuration [Power]
Components	V, V, V, V, V, [...] ,M
Casting Time	2 Rounds
Range	None
Targets	Self
Duration	Special
Saving Throw	None
Spell Resistance	No

To invoke this incredibly powerful spell, the wizard must be asked "WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABBOUT HIS POWER LEVEL?". to which the wizard must respond "ITS OVER 9000!". After this process, which takes two rounds, this powerful spell is invoked and the wizard's Power Level is raised to OVER 9000: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution are set to 9001, the wizard gains 9001 bonus hit points, and he receives attacks equivalent to a fighter of level 9001. The spell lasts for at most 9001 rounds, but if the wizard does not yell "ITS OVER 9000!!!!" in a round, the spell is broken.

Material Components: A Scouter, which is crushed after the first cry of "OVER 9000!!!!!"

Fuzzy Doom

Name	Fuzzy Doom
Level	Sor/Wiz 6
Type	Conjuration [Fuzzy]
Components	V,S,F
Casting Time	1 standard action
Range	Special
Targets	All Targets in Wide Cone (150° Arc)
Duration	3 Rounds + 1 Round / 3 levels
Saving Throw	Fortitude, Reflex
Spell Resistance	Yes

The Wizard calls upon the spirits of the adorable teddy bear. At his feet are summoned a continuous stream of 6-inch tall fuzzy teddy bears that, animated through the demonic energy of the spell, march outward. The bears crawl, at a rate of 30ft/round, over anything in their path, and will crawl atop each other to overtake vertical barriers. The bears are impeded for one round per 10 feet of vertical barrier. Anyone caught in the stream is slowed to half their normal speed. When the bears reach a target, the target must make a reflex save (with a bonus of +4 for each size category above medium) or fall into the stream. Even if the save is made, after 2 rounds (+1 per size above medium) in the swarm, the target is enveloped in fuzzy death. Once in the stream, the target must make a Fortitude save each round to avoid being suffocated and crushed; two failed saves indicate being choked by the teddy bears, and crushing damage taken in the stream is 3d6/round or half with a successful Fort. save.

Arcane Focus: An adorable teddy bear.

Shelinda's Adorable Puppy Burst

Name	Shelinda's Adorable Puppy Burst
Level	Sor/Wiz 8
Type	Conjuration [Adorable]
Components	V,S
Casting Time	1 standard action
Range	30 ft.
Targets	Single creature
Duration	3 Rounds
Saving Throw	Fortitude
Spell Resistance	Yes

When cast Shelinda's Adorable Puppy Burst causes 2d4 puppies to burst from within the target creature, inflicting severe bodily harm to them. The target creature must succeed on a fortitude save or be killed immediately by the spell. If the creature does succeed on their fortitude save they still suffer 1d8 points of damage for each puppy summoned by the spell. Once summoned the puppies will remain for 3 rounds if not killed and will obey the commands of the caster. For the purpose of hit points, attacks and damage, saving throws etc. the puppies are treated as dogs.

Feats

Pick Pocket Head

Prerequisite: Dexterity 19+, Strength 16, Pick Pocket 15 Ranks.

Benefit: The rogue uses her expert pick pocketing abilities to pick pocket the head of an enemy. This ability is used as a normal pick pocket action would proceed, except that the enemy receives an addition Fortitude save against (DC10 + the rogue's level) to resist the theft. If the pick pocketing skill check succeeds by 5 or more, the victim is unaware of the head being removed.

Special: Success is automatic against any Rakhshasa named Ihfateer.

Flashdance

Prerequisite: Dexterity 15+, Whirlwind Attack, Barbarian Rage, Perform 10 Ranks, Tumble 10 Ranks.

Benefit: The Barbarian uses his mighty rage to fuel a devastating dance. When active, the Barbarian does not incur attacks of opportunity, is immune to all mind-affecting and sonic effects, can jump twice the normal height and distance, moves at doubled speed, and deals double damage with each attack. The Dance lasts for 3 rounds + 1 round for each enemy killed, but ends if the Barbarian does not move at least 50 feet in a round. Also, when the Dance is over, the Barbarian becomes winded as per Rage, but with twice the negative effect.

Special: The winding penalty can be reduced to the usual Rage winding penalty if a large bucket of water is poured over the Barbarian within 1 round of the Flashdance's conclusion.

Obvious Hiding

Prerequisite: Medium Size or larger, 10 ranks Intimidate, Hide at most 0 Ranks.

Benefit: The character gains the ability to remove himself from the awareness of enemies by doing precisely the opposite, i.e. making himself as obvious as possible. By making loud noises and staying in the field of vision of the enemies, the character can effectively hide so long as the attention of the enemies is fixed on him. The hide persists so long as succeed their spot check against DC 12.

Special: Characters who hide from some enemies and attempt to obvious hide from others receive a -4 penalty to Hide and enemies receive a -4 penalty to their obvious hide spot check.

Raging Sneak Great Cleave

Prerequisite: Str 15+, Obvious Hiding, Weapon Focus in large, two handed weapon, Base Attack Bonus +12 or higher, Sneak Attack, Great Cleave, Rage.

Benefit: The Barbarian masters the art of stealth rage, gaining the ability to use large, two handed weapons to strike a target for a devastating sneak attack. A successful sneak attack using the weapon in which weapon focus has been taken while raging that kills a target hidden by Obvious Hiding allows the Barbarian, unnoticed, to sneak attack another target against whom the Barbarian is Obviously Hiddden.

Techno Rave

Prerequisites: Cha 16+, Con 13+, Perform 13 Ranks, At least 3 levels in Bard.

Benefit: The Bard uses his musical instrument and voice to create an intense techno beat that inspires all around him to dance. First the bard makes a perform check against DC 20, with enemies gaining an attack of opportunity, to successfully form the beat. Then, enemies and allies within 30 ft must make a will save against the Bard's level + 1d20 or succumb to the intoxicating beat, losing their action for that round. Success indicates desensitization to the beat. This, however, affects the bard as well, and after initiating the Beat must continue for at least three rounds.

Special: Enemies that are currently drunk or have ingested mind-altering drugs are automatically affected, chaotic lighting such as a large fire will incur a -4 penalty to the save. The Bard may use this ability to entertain a crowd, gaining twice whatever rate would have been obtained via the standard rules for Perform, but suffering a terrible headache (-2 to attack/Damage/AC) for 6 hours afterwards.

Creatures

Assassin Pie

Name	Assassin Pie
CR	6 (for a group of 3)
Size/Type	Tiny/Construct
Initiative/Speed	+2/20ft
Hit Dice	4d6 (12 Hit Points)
Armor Class	17
Attack Bonus/Type	+7/Dagger
Special Abilities	Scathing Juices, Alluring Smell
Saving Throws	Fort +2, Ref +7, Will +5
Abilities	Str 4, Dex 17, Con 4, Int 2, Wis 3, Cha 2
Feats/Skills	Blind-Fight, Mobility
Environment/Organization	Near Cities/Packs of 3
Alignment	Neutral Evil

The Assassin Pie is evil and deadly and all that (to be written later). Note: stats were written as placeholders.

Dread Demon Kulademan

Don't think I should even write this one.

Demon Lord Nachos

Again, to be written later.

Classes

Bureaucrat

This needs a description and a template.

Races

Orc-Gnome

This one also to be written later. Needs a template, too.